The temperatures have been around 100 (or better according to the thermometer in my truck) for a few days now. We have not had high temperatures under 90 for weeks. I warned everyone it was going to be a hot summer. How did I know? Read back, my faithful followers and you'll see the posts about all of the snow and ice we had earlier in 2010. This is the normal pattern. Rough winter, harsh summer. Hopefully this winter will be mild so my son and I can play basketball on the driveway on Christmas morning like we have in the past.
Attended a 2-day conference (yesterday and today -- 5 hours each). Then had another one this afternoon, which was over 2 hours. So much for working. HA HA! Actually got online when I got home, cleared the inbox, ran a couple of reports, and am clear and ready for tomorrow. At least I won't have to go out in the heat. Get my AWA day (alternate work arrangements). This is a sustainability project that my company offers, where one day per week we can work from home. This saves Co2 emissions as I don't have to run my vehicle to and from work (and anywhere else I may go during the day). The great part is, after 3+ years with the company, they trust me that I won't just sit and wiggle my mouse every 20 minutes to show I'm online and not idle. And I don't. I am at my laptop pretty much all day, like I was in the office. The only bad thing is, I can smoke at home. Buy stock in Marlboro!
Other than that, all is fairly quiet. Hoping to go to the water park this weekend, last weekend before school starts for Anthony. The weekend is clear, and hopefully the weather will cooperate and not dump rain (that we've been waiting for for about 2 weeks now) on our heads. Yeah, I know. Rain at a water park. Who cares right? Well, with the heat and humidity, it could easily be a bad thunderstorm with lightning, and that kinda screws up the plans of enjoying the lazy river, the wave pool, and all the wonderful slides that rush water up my legs and pushes my balls into my nostrils. Oh, but SO much fun!!
Hope you all have a great day. And see? I didn't piss and moan once about work, because if I did, oh man!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thoughts...
Over the past couple of weeks or so, I've been dealing with the "personal demons" in my head. I think I have mentioned this before, but don't feel like looking back. I was fortunate enough last night to put one of those to rest. At least I hope I was able to.
As you know, I have been married for a long time. What you may not have known is that I was engaged once before. It was to a wonderful young woman, who I will not name in this post, as I would like to respect her privacy. We met in high school .. she was actually dating a friend of mine when we met. I remember the day I met her. Please note, this is a high schooler's way of thinking, not the adult I am now. I looked at her and went "Wow! A bookworm! She's smart, yes, and cute, but nah, not my type." Then I shook her hand. Now, I don't know if you have ever had a "psychic experience" but I did. The ONLY thought that ran through my mind when her hand touched mine was "This is the girl I am going to marry!" When I let go of her hand, my next thought was "What am I, NUTS?!?" Well, she dated my friend throughout high school, I'd seen her a few times, and the same psychic thought was there every time. There was no chance on God's green earth I was going to attempt taking her from him. He was my friend, and I was not the type to be able to steal anyone's girl, nor do I believe I could even if I tried.
Long story short, I saw her a couple of years later. She was working in the mall, and I was there with my cousin. When I saw her, I froze. My cousin almost dragged me in there to talk to her, but I managed to fight him off. A few months later, while I was dating someone else, we were in the mall so I could get a camera repaired. I heard my name called, went out to see who it was, and it was her. She saw me, and wanted to say hello. About 45 minutes later, I remembered I had a girlfriend (she was still in the camera store wondering where I was), and forced myself to leave. I wound up breaking up with her about a month later, knowing where my destiny was.
We dated for over a year. I remember the day I asked her to marry me. We were in my bedroom, and the door was closed. This was taboo in my house, especially with my mother home. Her theory was "if I can't get laid in this house, nobody can!" Well, the door was closed and she couldn't figure out why. We were talking about the mall and I told her when she brings the ring in to get it sized, ask them to shine it up also. She said "What ring?" having no idea what I was talking about. Then I pulled out the ring and asked her to marry me. To this day I still believe that was the happiest day of my life.
Please note above, I said "dated" because we broke up a few months later. I honestly couldn't tell you what broke us up. I think it was a number of things. I can tell you it was mostly me (if not all me). I had a plan in my head that was falling apart, and as our relationship fell apart, I got worse rather than trying to fix it.
I have been thinking about my life and all of the relationships I've been in. Did you know that she is the ONLY one I have never cheated on? There was a young woman I dated in high school, and oh wow did I believe I was in love. Yes, cheated on her. Nothing BIG, but for me, any indiscretion is enough. My wife .. yes, cheated on her more than once. She has on me also, we actually went to another state together to meet up with people. Yet, there was one that I never strayed from, never even THOUGHT about it.
I was able to communicate with this person last night, even though it was a very short conversation. I was given the opportunity to apologize to her for the times I hurt her. I was not there for her when I should have been, and I broke my promise. The promise that I would keep her and protect her forever. The one promise I believe I kept is that I would love her forever, because she will always have a place in my heart. And the photo we took at Sears will always be in my memory too. I'm just sorry I lost the jacket.
As you know, I have been married for a long time. What you may not have known is that I was engaged once before. It was to a wonderful young woman, who I will not name in this post, as I would like to respect her privacy. We met in high school .. she was actually dating a friend of mine when we met. I remember the day I met her. Please note, this is a high schooler's way of thinking, not the adult I am now. I looked at her and went "Wow! A bookworm! She's smart, yes, and cute, but nah, not my type." Then I shook her hand. Now, I don't know if you have ever had a "psychic experience" but I did. The ONLY thought that ran through my mind when her hand touched mine was "This is the girl I am going to marry!" When I let go of her hand, my next thought was "What am I, NUTS?!?" Well, she dated my friend throughout high school, I'd seen her a few times, and the same psychic thought was there every time. There was no chance on God's green earth I was going to attempt taking her from him. He was my friend, and I was not the type to be able to steal anyone's girl, nor do I believe I could even if I tried.
Long story short, I saw her a couple of years later. She was working in the mall, and I was there with my cousin. When I saw her, I froze. My cousin almost dragged me in there to talk to her, but I managed to fight him off. A few months later, while I was dating someone else, we were in the mall so I could get a camera repaired. I heard my name called, went out to see who it was, and it was her. She saw me, and wanted to say hello. About 45 minutes later, I remembered I had a girlfriend (she was still in the camera store wondering where I was), and forced myself to leave. I wound up breaking up with her about a month later, knowing where my destiny was.
We dated for over a year. I remember the day I asked her to marry me. We were in my bedroom, and the door was closed. This was taboo in my house, especially with my mother home. Her theory was "if I can't get laid in this house, nobody can!" Well, the door was closed and she couldn't figure out why. We were talking about the mall and I told her when she brings the ring in to get it sized, ask them to shine it up also. She said "What ring?" having no idea what I was talking about. Then I pulled out the ring and asked her to marry me. To this day I still believe that was the happiest day of my life.
Please note above, I said "dated" because we broke up a few months later. I honestly couldn't tell you what broke us up. I think it was a number of things. I can tell you it was mostly me (if not all me). I had a plan in my head that was falling apart, and as our relationship fell apart, I got worse rather than trying to fix it.
I have been thinking about my life and all of the relationships I've been in. Did you know that she is the ONLY one I have never cheated on? There was a young woman I dated in high school, and oh wow did I believe I was in love. Yes, cheated on her. Nothing BIG, but for me, any indiscretion is enough. My wife .. yes, cheated on her more than once. She has on me also, we actually went to another state together to meet up with people. Yet, there was one that I never strayed from, never even THOUGHT about it.
I was able to communicate with this person last night, even though it was a very short conversation. I was given the opportunity to apologize to her for the times I hurt her. I was not there for her when I should have been, and I broke my promise. The promise that I would keep her and protect her forever. The one promise I believe I kept is that I would love her forever, because she will always have a place in my heart. And the photo we took at Sears will always be in my memory too. I'm just sorry I lost the jacket.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Nothing interesting...
Just feel like typing for a couple of minutes. Been a bad day for me so far. Very on edge, headache that won't go totally away, lightheaded earlier, and just basically annoyed by every voice I hear (with my ears .. the ones in my head I'm getting used to). Did something very strange yesterday, waiting to see if anything comes out of it. Probably won't, but there's hoping. Would be VERY strange if the hope comes from another state.
Beginnings of the working month, that happen on Monday's, are probably the worst. Reports that are normally run on Monday's take much longer than usual, because everyone else is running their prior month end reports. Also, I'm waiting for orders to be submitted into the system so I can go in and accept them, which will take me a long time. Doesn't look like they are coming in today, so I will be working on them tomorrow (and possibly Wednesday, depending on the day).
Well, I guess that's enough typing.
Beginnings of the working month, that happen on Monday's, are probably the worst. Reports that are normally run on Monday's take much longer than usual, because everyone else is running their prior month end reports. Also, I'm waiting for orders to be submitted into the system so I can go in and accept them, which will take me a long time. Doesn't look like they are coming in today, so I will be working on them tomorrow (and possibly Wednesday, depending on the day).
Well, I guess that's enough typing.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Another Friday post...
Still dealing with the demons. Not as bad as they were last week, which is good, but still there. This week some of them are "all new", like the summer season on TV. Others are the same crap as usual, just louder than normal. Was confronted about it today by a co-worker, who wondered why I've been so distant and quiet lately. Told her am dealing with alot of shit and don't want anyone getting hurt. Guess they were hurt enough by me being distant, but trust me when I say it could be MUCH worse!
Anthony finished summer school 2 days early (it was only 2 weeks to begin with) and passed both classes. Woohoo, I have a sophmore in my house! Unfortunately because his GPA isn't high enough, he will not be able to compete on the Cross Country team this season. Hopefully, though, he will get the grades up so he can compete with the Track team in the spring. In the meantime, focus grasshopper!
Fucking demons running through again. Been trying to block them out, I think it's starting to affect me physically. My chest has been tight, pains in my shoulders, legs feeling a bit "woozy" sometimes while I walk (short distances at that), and I've been VERY tired the last few nights. Wife not crazy about that last part. Oh well, I need that extra 3 minutes of sleep. Will buy her a toy if she needs it that bad.
Have not spoken "personal" to anyone in 2 weeks, and I think that is how it is going to be for awhile. If I can't get rid of what's going on in my head, I may need to look for additional assistance in removing them.
Anthony finished summer school 2 days early (it was only 2 weeks to begin with) and passed both classes. Woohoo, I have a sophmore in my house! Unfortunately because his GPA isn't high enough, he will not be able to compete on the Cross Country team this season. Hopefully, though, he will get the grades up so he can compete with the Track team in the spring. In the meantime, focus grasshopper!
Fucking demons running through again. Been trying to block them out, I think it's starting to affect me physically. My chest has been tight, pains in my shoulders, legs feeling a bit "woozy" sometimes while I walk (short distances at that), and I've been VERY tired the last few nights. Wife not crazy about that last part. Oh well, I need that extra 3 minutes of sleep. Will buy her a toy if she needs it that bad.
Have not spoken "personal" to anyone in 2 weeks, and I think that is how it is going to be for awhile. If I can't get rid of what's going on in my head, I may need to look for additional assistance in removing them.
Friday, July 23, 2010
What's in a title...
The same that's in my head. Much of nothing. It's Friday folks! That means the weekend is but a few short hours away. I am at work, listening to Pandora, catching up on reports, sending out a few new ones. Orders are in, desk is clean, and I have 6 more hours to kill. Anthony is in summer school (2 weeks, end of the first today) and I have to pick him up at 4:30. Ann is working tonight and tomorrow PM. It's too hot to do much of anything. Will probably be a weekend of no teeth, no pants, and a lot of X-Box. Too much information? Hey, you're the one that's reading!
Been dealing with a few personal demons lately. Nothing bad. I'm not on drugs or anything like that. I have actually never done an illegal drug in my life, and don't plan on starting now. Just dealing with a lot of shit in my head that doesn't want to seem to leave me the fuck alone. And what makes it worse is that people I work with fell back into the same shit routine they were in when I started and didn't have the greatest attitude. They think I'm angry at them, or at work, so they don't even look at me. People, GROW UP! You want to say we are "friends"? ASK A FRIEND HOW THEY ARE DOING!!
Did a small presentation on communication yesterday at work. It went OK in my opinion. I think it would have gone better if I wasn't working without a net. I wrote down highlights of what I wanted to discuss, then talked off the top of my head (no, not out of my ass like normal .. this was business!). I also could have gone MUCH longer, but we were limited on time. Hopefully I can do that more often on various things. I enjoyed it, and next time I will be much better prepared.
Well, enjoy the heat!
Been dealing with a few personal demons lately. Nothing bad. I'm not on drugs or anything like that. I have actually never done an illegal drug in my life, and don't plan on starting now. Just dealing with a lot of shit in my head that doesn't want to seem to leave me the fuck alone. And what makes it worse is that people I work with fell back into the same shit routine they were in when I started and didn't have the greatest attitude. They think I'm angry at them, or at work, so they don't even look at me. People, GROW UP! You want to say we are "friends"? ASK A FRIEND HOW THEY ARE DOING!!
Did a small presentation on communication yesterday at work. It went OK in my opinion. I think it would have gone better if I wasn't working without a net. I wrote down highlights of what I wanted to discuss, then talked off the top of my head (no, not out of my ass like normal .. this was business!). I also could have gone MUCH longer, but we were limited on time. Hopefully I can do that more often on various things. I enjoyed it, and next time I will be much better prepared.
Well, enjoy the heat!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunny Saturday...
And let's hope it stays that way. Weather has been crazy around here lately. Listen to the weathermen, they say "20% chance of scattered showers" and you get a wonderful thunderstorm that dumps over 2 inches of rain on your head. In less than an hour! Then the sun comes out. It's been said "if you don't like the weather in Arkansas, wait 20 minutes, it will change." So true!
Going to the Naturals game tonight with my company. We are a sponsor and we got a group deal for tonight. Free tickets, free parking, T-shirts, and tailgaiting before the game. Also, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are going to be there. Charging the digital camera battery.
Work has been fine. Keeping busy. Some changes taking place, others coming. Will wait and see. All I know is to keep doing what I'm doing, and do a little bit more. Trying to learn what I can, when I can, but it isn't easy. Some that I could be sitting with are incapable of training me, as they are not very familiar with the system yet, and others are ... well, let's say uncooperative.
They say go with your first instincts. Well, I gave my second instincts a chance, and guess what? I was right the first time. Explains quite a few things in my office, and I'm just very glad I am not the only one who sees it.
TTFN!
Going to the Naturals game tonight with my company. We are a sponsor and we got a group deal for tonight. Free tickets, free parking, T-shirts, and tailgaiting before the game. Also, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders are going to be there. Charging the digital camera battery.
Work has been fine. Keeping busy. Some changes taking place, others coming. Will wait and see. All I know is to keep doing what I'm doing, and do a little bit more. Trying to learn what I can, when I can, but it isn't easy. Some that I could be sitting with are incapable of training me, as they are not very familiar with the system yet, and others are ... well, let's say uncooperative.
They say go with your first instincts. Well, I gave my second instincts a chance, and guess what? I was right the first time. Explains quite a few things in my office, and I'm just very glad I am not the only one who sees it.
TTFN!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Been awhile...
What can I tell you. I've been busy working, playing Modern Warfare 2, trying to keep my mind off playing live poker because of a lack of bankroll currently. That's what happens when you have to pay $3,000 for new teeth. Then the dog needed minor surgery that was $400. Now, Anthony's bottom wisdom teeth are growing in sideways and they need to be "surgically removed". I don't even know if I still have enough dental coverage for it this year. Right now they are not bothering him, so I'm putting it off. Family vacation appears to be out this year, as Anthony is going to summer school for 2 weeks. That was more money that I forgot I had. Good thing, too, because it's gone!
Other than that, everything is fairly quiet. Had a nice 4th. Went to the ballgame, watched the Naturals win, then they had a spectacular fireworks display. Got home around 10, and fell asleep to the noise of the neighbors trying to blow the town up. Good times!
Don't miss Facebook! Wife still enjoys it. She has family and friends. I don't. Nice and easy!
Other than that, everything is fairly quiet. Had a nice 4th. Went to the ballgame, watched the Naturals win, then they had a spectacular fireworks display. Got home around 10, and fell asleep to the noise of the neighbors trying to blow the town up. Good times!
Don't miss Facebook! Wife still enjoys it. She has family and friends. I don't. Nice and easy!
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