Three weeks...

And I still have ... well, SOMETHING. I don't know if it's still bronchitis, or if it turned into something else. The congestion in my chest has subsided but I am still coughing up a storm. Not a dry cough either (trying to keep this from being too graphic). And now the worst part is I can't even afford to go to the doctor. I screwed up my bank accounts so bad I can't even afford to buy milk! Yes I still have my job, yes Ann is still working. Her paycheck will cover SOME of the negative balance, but have to wait for mine next week to cover the rest. Fucking brilliant on my part, and it's all my fault. I screwed up bill paying and paid everything 10 days earlier than planned. Tried the bank but their hands were tied, and the amount of money it would have cost to fix wasn't going to be worth it. Plus all the time and aggravation. FML (fuck my luck)! In other news, I apparently am all alone. But I have what I have wanted all my life. Respect! Unfortunately that doesn't give you anyone to talk to about anything. Ah well, such is life. Been like this most of my adult life, no point in trying to start new now right? I had someone laughing the other day. I told them I've been involved in customer service for the better part of 28 years, yet I'm not a people person. As a general rule, most people piss me off with their stupidity. Then again, I piss them off with MY stupidity, amongst other traits. Sucks to be me I guess. Hopefully soon, though, I will end up totally alone, and then we'll see what happens.

Songs...

As you may or may not know, there has been but one constant in my life, and that is music. I can relate to so many songs, way too many to list. There are songs that make me smile, others that make me remember. There are even songs that make me cry because of what they make me remember. As I am typing this I just came across a song that puts my current situation in perspective. It's called "Without You" by Hinder. Yeah, the name of the group does not sound familiar but I have specific stations and this group fits into that genre... The start of the song goes like this: I just wanna be alone tonight I just wanna take a little breather Cause lately all we do is fight And every time it cuts me deeper Cause something's changed You've been acting so strange And it's taking its toll on me It's safe to say, that I'm ready to let you leave Now, for those of you who do not understand why this fits so well ... well, it sucks to be you! Let's just say the past few months have been a roller coaster and I have been asking myself what I did wrong, why did it end so abruptly. It's been haunting me daily, to the point where I lose focus on whatever is going on at that point. I literally cannot see or hear anything or anyone around me. It's consuming (I guess that would be a good word for it). Another couple of lines: We have done a lot of growing up We were never meant to be I finally got my answers, and it's all thanks to this one song. I can finally move on, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Thank you! TTFN~!

Another hump day...

And I damn sure can't wait to get humped. Haha! Bronchitis now on its 8th day. Still coughing, though it feels like the phlegm in my chest is starting to break. Can't get any of it to come up and out though. Staying on the medication the doctor gave me, and if no better by Friday morning will follow up again. Cable coming today, getting an upgrade on my DVR system. Looking forward to just recording in one room. Much easier! Best part is only $5 more per month. Can't complain about that considering the convenience. Been doing alot of thinking lately. Not much else to do, work has been slow! Trying to figure out what went wrong, where it went wrong, WHY it went wrong. Actually, I know already WHY it went wrong. Ah well. There is a quote from a movie that I am looking forward to experiencing (please keep in mind I'm paraphrasing) ... I'd rather stand alone for the right reasons than with others for the wrong reasons. Looking back at some lessons I've learned recently, it's time to stand on my own. People ("friends") come and go. When they feel nostalgic, or need a fix, they contact me. When they are over it, they are gone. The only constant in my life is me. Hell, sometimes not even me actually! Hey, some interesting news here. I haven't been travelling on Long Island much recently. The trip I took in June got a vast majority of it out of my system. I was supposed to go back this week, but obviously that didn't happen. I will go back again though. Not sure when, but I will return. Right now I have some great memories of my time there, and I use those when I feel lost.

How long since last post??

Honestly not real sure. Didn't go back and look. Not much happened in the past couple of weeks. The Buffalo Bills are 2-2, which is a little better than I thought they would be. There is hope, as they have been in all 4 games and not gotten blown out. Hockey starts this week, excited for that. Did not order the TV package though. Need to save money. The more I try to save, the less I end up with. Haven't figured that out yet. Dealt a poker tournament Sunday, which was great. Would have been even better if I wasn't sick. It started Saturday, I thought it might have been allergies because of the turn in the weather. Sunday was a little worse, yesterday was horrible, and today even worse. Have a doctor appointment at 4pm. The scary part of this, and I won't tell anyone except maybe the doctor, is when I cough I think I may be tasting a little iron. Not sure so will let him make the diagnosis. Because of this sickness I am working from home. Don't want to bring this to work. Such a nice guy I am, huh? hahahah! The new TV season is great so far. HIMYM is in the final season (I think), and it seems to be going along nicely. The dramas are back (Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Revenge, Once Upon A Time). Those look good so far. And some new ones! S.H.I.E.L.D. is phenomenal so far, and so is Hostages. Still have to watch Deception, not sure if I'm going to like that one, but I'll give it a shot. New comedies too, which have gone 50/50. Will see about those. Thank you for following. Hopefully this is not my last post! TTFN~!

Hi...

Feels like it's been more than 1 week since my last post. Wound up playing in a charity poker tournament last Friday night and finished 3rd. Picked up some nice prizes, and the money raised went to a good cause. Work has been normally busy which is good for me. Today I could have written my next promotion but really wasn't in the mood, so going to hit the office tomorrow morning and write it. Won't take more than a couple of hours. Not much going on this weekend except FOOTBALL! Love the fall season. Then next week, all the prime time shows are back. Going to wind up burning out my DVR! Hope everyone is having a great week and enjoy your weekend! TTFN~!

Friday the 13th

Usually this is one of my favorite days. While others feel it's a "bad luck" day, I see it as just the opposite. However, this Friday the 13th is the exception. I am in a foul mood, and have been all day. Can't get the stuff I need to do my job. And too many thoughts (and realizations) running through my mind. For starters, I know why my "friend" stopped contacting me. OK, so let me back up a bit. For the past 25 years, I have been viewed as an asshole for my actions. That's fine. It was the proper label. However, I've chnaged. I've proved that. And I was patient. However, someone says something, and instead of being an adult and asking about it, I get ignored. Bad, BAD idea! You see, you have to understand something. I have absolutely nothing to lose. You can say whatever you want about me, feel however you want about me, and THINK you are "ruining my life". However, I'm the one that has plenty of information. What? Your home address. As I said, I have absolutely NOTHING to lose. Everything I've ever had is gone and I'm at a point where I just don't care. Also, you know me well enough that you won't know when it's coming. I tend to plan things out sometimes WAY too much! It could be days, weeks...but neither of you will know what hit you. The other part is I know WHO caused my friend and I to stop communicating. That person is in for one helluva shock too. They think they did good, things are "back to normal". Hahaha! There is another one that will not know what hit them.

Just ranting...

It's amazing how so many people can turn their backs on a person, and basically all at the same time. You ask for things, they ignore it. They are not difficult requests. This is job related AND personal related, in case you are wondering. Job related: people don't do their jobs. Then I get to the office early the next morning to make sure things were done, find out they aren't, and they are on bankers hours! WTF!?!? Personal related: someone tells you they care .. BULLSHIT! Job related issues: well, I have to deal with it and use my follow-up skills to make sure things get corrected timely and without errors, because if things don't go right, I get the blame regardless of the "paper trail" Personal related issues: Fuck you! And thank you for reminding me DTA! (Don't Trust ANYONE!)