No vacation...

As stated, no trip to New York. Then decided to maybe going to Kansas City overnight. That trip is out. No point. Can't even fucking enjoy any of my life without a divorce and can't get that because God forbid ANYTHING gets talked about in my house. I am married to an emotionless bitch. Well, at least she is emotionless with me. 21 years together, never once told me she loves me. Never comes up and just gives me a hug. The only thank you I got for cancelling my trip to New York when I bought her the car was a "thank you" from about 38 feet away. You know what? Fuck it. I don't care anymore. I am living in a house that feels like I'm living with a friend without benefits. I am too fucking ugly to get anyone else. So I'm fucking screwed. THAT'S how everything is going in my life!