Another time...

Was going to write something today, but right now I am just TOO FUCKING PISSED OFF! Fucking deal with it, come back another time! I don't give a shit!

Bring the rain...

OK, so I'm a little hyped for Transformers 3, coming out July 1st, 2011. I already have it in my head to make a midnight show! Great idea for someone who fell asleep in the theater while watching Transformers 2, and it was a matinee!

I am a non-smoker now. I have not had a cigarette since Saturday at 7pm, so working on almost 5 full days now. Would really celebrate if my back wasn't out. Yes, folks, one extreme to the other. I am walking around like I'm carrying a car on my back and taking really small steps. Pray I don't sneeze again. It hurts!

Other than that, nothing to report.

The day after...

And nobody will buy me a pack!! GRRRRR!!! Gone the whole day so far (11 hours of being awake), which is good. However, my back is out, which is bad. I can barely move even my legs while I am sitting down without pain shooting across the entire lower half of my back.

Been playing online poker most of the afternoon trying to keep my mind off smoking. Not doing well. Played about 9 tournaments so far, cashed in 1. Ah well, such is life. Still cheaper than if I went to the casino. Watched the Daytona 500, now watching a movie on Netflix.

Yes, I got Netflix. Have the setup for my XBox, as well as my laptop, and DVD's by mail. Going for Iron Man 2 first. Also bought a DVD/Blu Ray player today. Want to make sure nothing goes wrong with this new setup. Cancelled the movie packages on Cox. Too expensive, and don't like that they only show about 2% of the movies I'd actually watch.

WWE Elimination Chamber on in an hour. Dinner almost ready. TTFN!

Day 6...

And it's getting a bit easier. The past few days have been very rough. Trying to cut back on how many cigarettes I smoked each day was not easy, and the Chantix had not built up in my system enough to help. Today seems to be better. I have a limit of 6 today and 3 tomorrow. I have had 4 to this point, spacing them out 3 hours apart. This morning I was having some bad cravings that I had to fight through, but the afternoon seems much better.

Did I mention that I went for a walk the other day? Anthony and I went after I got home from work and he got home from school. Didn't want to walk around the block, because I had no interest in measuring how far I walked. I was more concerned with the amount of time. So, we decided to walk up the highway to where my wife works. Now, here's the funny part. My wife sees us walking by, sticks her head out the door and asks what we are doing there. I told her we are walking. She asked how we got there. *SIGH* I told her we took a helicopter to the empty lot across the street and walked over from there. She said "No, really, where's your car?" I reiterated that we WALKED there. The total walk time was 32 minutes, which was great. I was not tired, not out of breath. It felt good.

Today, worked from home, so during lunch decided to go for another walk. This time I took the dog. She was there to pace me. Worked out great until we had to stop so she could poop in the street. I guess it was better than on someone's lawn, but I was still a little shocked. Next time have to remember to bring a scooper and a bag.

Tomorrow is the big day. My last 3 cigarettes, then on Sunday NONE! Will continue to take the Chantix for 2-3 months and hopefully there will be no relapse.

Day 3...

...of quitting smoking. The first 2 days weren't that bad. Today is going a little rougher. Per instructions, I started cutting back on my daily intake of nicotine. Sunday was 20, Monday 17, today is 14. I could go through those by noon if I gave in to the cravings I am having. However, I am trying to space it out much better so that I have them for the day. Tomorrow I start taking 2 pills a day so hopefully the medication is building up better by then so I won't have such cravings. Will see what happens.

Otherwise, I'm in one of my who gives a fuck moods. Could be the medication, could be I just don't give a shit today. Also have a feeling I'm going to have more of those days than normal in the near future. Why? You really wanna know? Because for awhile I've busted my ass trying to make things right, and no matter what I do, or what I say, it doesn't make a fucking difference. Things will not come to those who wait, because some people have memories like elephants and refuse to look at the here and now. Which means they are too fucking stupid to get over themselves! So, I keep doing what I do best, and fuck it all.

Next month is 20 years that my wife and I have been together. Crazy huh? Hopefully the spots on my lungs are nothing and we get another 20 years together. Not counting on it though.

Spot(s)...

That's what they found on my chest x-ray. I can't tell you if he said it singular or plural, because as soon as I realized he was saying they found SOMETHING on the x-ray, I kinda zoned out and didn't hear every word he said to me. He said the spots are 3-4mm in size. It is possible it is just scars from certain air that I breathe in, being there are a lot of chicken farms around here. That would be nothing to worry about.

Before I go any further, I have been in Arkansas for 7 1/2 years. I've seen ONE chicken coop in the area. Quite a few chicken trucks, but only one coop in this area. I also don't spend as much time outside as I did when we first moved here.

Anyway, it could also be cancer. I have to go for another chest x-ray in May, and then a follow-up with my doctor. He wants to see if the spots are getting any bigger. I do the same thing again in November. We did not discuss anything else about the future, just the x-rays and I guess we will go from there.

On the bright side, my stress test came back fine. My heart is strong. They actually clocked me at 9 minutes 47 seconds on the treadmill. Once I quit smoking, and I start exercising, maybe I'll go back and try to hit the 10-minute mark. HAHA! No!

SNOW!

Yes, you read that right! And if you know where I live, you know that word should not be in capital letters. But it is. It's almost as big as the snow piles on my front lawn, which measure above 4 feet! We got dumped on with 20 inches of snow. In a 12-hour period! It's NUTS! Best part? Sunday will be in the 50's and Monday on in the 60's. Crazy!

I called it. When they started talking about this system they said it was tracking south and we would get 2-4 or 3-5 inches. Then, Tuesday morning, a co-worker who does not show up before 9am and takes 2 hour lunches, showed up at 8:30. Immediately I knew we were in trouble. Hell froze over and it landed in Arkansas! Then she didn't take more than a 30 minute lunch! Oh shit are we in trouble! Sure enough, 20 inches of snow, temperatures overnight of 15 BELOW.

Tomorrow, I go to the doctor for my follow-up on my tests. Still not sure what to expect. I know he is going to wonder if I started quitting smoking yet. Didn't get the pills yet, so next week hopefully. He's going to tell me to lose weight and exercise. Again, next week. Have no idea what he's going to say about my heart or my chest. With my luck, it will mean more tests for something or other. Will keep you posted.

Busy busy...

First, congratulations to the Green Bay Packers on their Super Bowl victory, 31-25 over the Pittsburgh Steelers. I will admit I was rooting for the Steelers. They are an AFC team, and my team is in the AFC. First half looked bad for them, but they played well in the 2nd half to make it a close game. Just not close enough.

Going to be a busy couple of weeks for me. I have promotions to write, new modular orders to write, ship withs to write. PLUS, I do mentoring for a student at a local elementary school (if schools stay open for me to go..thanks to the snow), I have a doctor appointment this Friday morning to follow up on my tests, and other various meetings at work. PHEW!

Been thinking about our company trip coming up soon. SO not looking forward to it. Have no choice but to go (unless the doctor gives me some news), and plan on doing things differently than last year. This year it's about me. Going to do what is "mandatory" and then going to do what I feel is mandatory. Which means, after the meal, going back to my room and watching television, or going walking. Don't need to stick around for all of the other bullshit. Besides, it's not like I have a close group of friend(s) at my office. And damned if I feel like drinking. Ah well. So I don't play the game and kiss everyone's ass in my company. So I won't get the promotions that I hope for (and in one case, feel I deserve). Don't really give a shit anymore. Just my attitude right now. My opinion? Everyone can piss off!

Stressed??

Well, yesterday turned out to be interesting. I was FINALLY able to get 9 hours of straight sleep, which felt great. The past few days I have been waking up after 5 hours. I know what caused it too. Too much coffee! I've been drinking alot, and Thursday I actually had 7 cups AT WORK! So I came home and drank one Gatorade, and then water. Slept wonderfully (or crashed and died, either way). Sorry...got off track. Anyway, worked from home yesterday for 1/2 day because in the afternoon I had my tests at the hospital. Ann went to work, and proceeded to text me when she got there that the roads still suck and it's snowing. Again! We knew it would, they were only saying a dusting to an inch. I looked outside, and it was almost nothing. Looked out 20 minutes later and it was a little heavier. Looked out 30 minutes after that and it was snowing BIG flakes. So much for the inch. They modified the weather report to call for 3-5 inches. We got it!

So, in the PM I went to the hospital for my x-ray and journey on the treadmill for the Cardiac Stress Test. The x-ray was fine. I'm used to those. Not used to hugging the thing, but that's what you have to do for a chest x-ray I guess. Then it was time for the treadmill. Now, let's review history. Have I worked out AT ALL in the last 25 years? Thinking...NOPE! Have I walked any distances (outside of Walmart) in the past year? Thinking...NOPE! This ought to be interesting.

The test starts easy, but gradually gets "worse" every 3 minutes. The first 6 minutes were fine for me, surprisingly. Level 3 was inclined a decent amount, with a steady speed. Level 4 almost flew me off the treadmill and into the wall 8 feet behind me. I went a total of 9 minutes 45 seconds. Didn't feel out of breath or dizzy until I stopped, then whoosh! Took awhile for my heart rate to come down, but my blood pressure stayed "regular" which was good. The diastolic (sp?) kept getting higher though, approaching borderline. Will review the results with my doctor next Friday (including the x-ray) and go from there.

Now, let's get ready for the Super Bowl (and the Puppy Bowl if you need something to watch to kill time).

Random s*%@

Made it in to work today. The roads suck. Did 10-15 mph most of the way here, had the truck in 4wd, and fishtailed twice. Go figure. Still, made it safe. Glad for that. Tonight, on the way home, will stop at Walmart to take my blood pressure. Hopefully they are not crowded (yeah, right!).

Ever have a friendship that went "kaplooey" and there is no chance in hell of getting it back? I have. Many times. Some the other has caused, some I have. Can't live with regrets, right?

Word is we will be travelling in the next couple of months for work. Going to the same place we went last year for the conference. Hopefully we have some "free time" to do whatever we want. The place (I can't remember the name and don't feel like looking for it) is gorgeous. This year, though, I plan to just stay quiet and on my own. Last year was decent, but I was not close to anyone and I think I tried too hard. This year I'm still not that close to anyone, so I'm just going to do what I'm supposed to do and then be on my own.

Damn, new pain in my chest/shoulder. Good thing for the x-ray tomorrow.

Snowmaggedon!

I moved south 7 1/2 years ago to get AWAY from the blizzard snows and the below 0 temperatures. This winter season, up north is getting clobbered! Snowstorms on top of snowstorms. We have been laughing at them. Payback is such a bitch! We are in blizzard conditions here today, expecting upwards of 10 inches of snow, and that's on top of about 1/2 inch of sleet/ice on the ground. I shoveled a path from the road up my driveway to the door. That's gone already, and it's only been an hour. You can see the indentation of where I shoveled, but it's not safe anymore. Schools are closed today. Hell, the TOWN I live in is closed today. There is a report of a truck jack-knifing up the road from me. Stupid driver. Can't take that road in these conditions. It's a winding road with hills and valleys, and not very wide. One slight spin of the tires and you're off the road. Hopefully the driver and the cargo is OK.