Still with me?

Why?!? I've honestly yet to figure out why anyone is reading this! It's not for anyone but me. I use this as a way to remember things, because I know in the not too distant future something is going to happen that is going to cause me to forget much of my life. This is the reason I have been "documenting" things. Reality plus memories that I DO remember.

I was actually remembering some of the times from my teen years. I remember the various girls I "dated" or thought I "liked". I also remember a couple of the girls that I really DID like, and how I wound up hurting them, and myself as well. I don't remember her name as well as I think, but I think her name was Nora. She was an inch or two shorter than me at the time, red hair, and heavy. I have a memory of talking to my mom in the kitchen, saying I liked her, but if I asked her out, all my friends would make fun of me because of how big she was. She overheard us and walked away crying. I lost not just a potential girlfriend, but a friend for sure that day.

I remember being out shopping for shoes or something with my mom. I noticed a girl standing in the store by herself, and she was rather attractive. I was shy back then, not really knowing how to approach her, when her friend came up to her. I don't know what their conversation was about, but I remember that girl saying how she will never have a real boyfriend because of how she talked. She had the voice that you would associate with a deaf (or hard of hearing) person. At that moment, I had two thoughts. (1) I couldn't go and talk to her because she would think I was taking pity on her -and- (2) I felt like a jackass for not going over and talking to her, because I understood how she felt. Being an "outsider" is not easy. It took me a number of years to figure out what I should have gone up to her and said. NO, I am not sharing that with you. It's personal, and something I'll never forget. This I am very sure of.

Work has been hell, trying to do things around the house has kept me busy. Yet, I'm still able to find time for me, to type this up for me to remember and for you to read, although I am STILL not sure why. I guess it doesn't matter. If you are entertained, that's your problem. I turned off the comments to this blog a long time ago, because frankly I don't care what any of you think.

Well, now I've been sitting here about 5 minutes and typed nothing. Sorry, not sure if it's A-D-D or W-G-A-S (who gives a shit!) but hey, it saved.