Title???

First off, congrats to my old boss and her husband on the birth of their new baby. Played poker at Cherokee last night, which I have not done in awhile, especially at night. Was fun, but was out at the 2nd break. My pocket JJ lost to pocket 10-10 when he hit a set on the flop and never looked back. It was OK. Had a good time. Hurricane Isaac is heading this way. Should possibly bring up to 6" of rain to the area which we desperately need. We are 10" below normal for the year. Tonight I am hoping to play poker at the Elks Lodge. No plans for the Labor Day weekend. Hoping to barbecue, and looking forward to the start of College Football.

Need to relax...

I am finding that the older I get the more paranoid I become. I was paranoid when I was young, but now it seems worse. Every time someone says "Hey, let's talk" or "hey I need a big favor", I always seem to think the worst. I guess it's just easier that way. Expect the worst, so if it doesn't happen that way I feel better. Better than going the other way, huh? I don't know. Well, found out I did not get the role I applied for at work. Manager told me my interview was "so-so" at best, but he understood. It's been quite a few years since I've interviewed for anything. I still think I'm most qualified for the position, but I understand the reasoning for not getting it. Looking at the person who DID get the job, their position is now open and people say I should go for it. I can't say I haven't thought about it, but the training is so God awful for that role that I feel like I'm being set up to fail. And the person that would do the training still doesn't even understand all of the job (and couldn't keep up with it, hence emails at 11:30 pm -- PS: doesn't make you look good, makes you look incapable!) would have to train me and that would end up a train wreck. Sold Anthony's car. Got the money back that I invested in it, plus a few dollars. Told him to focus on school, will keep looking for a job, and when something comes up, we'll go from there. Saturday tournament in Fayetteville. Dealing! Can't wait!

I wouldn't mind one more dance...

Sitting here on a Friday, it's close to lunch time (just a touch too early). There isn't much going on today, so I sit listening to Pandora. You know how songs start memories you did not need at that time. Well, that's been going on for over 3 1/2 hours at this point today. I am still mad that I didn't get to go to New York last month. I figured it out, it doesn't look like I'm going anytime soon. All I wanted was a chance at one last dance. A chance to say the things to people and places that I haven't had the chance to say to them because I moved away quickly and quietly without letting anyone important to me know that I was leaving. I didn't get that one more chance to stop by all my favorite spots one last time to say thank you for all of the times I was able to go and get lost in my thoughts, while all of the time feeling protected and safe (those from my neighborhood will understand that). Nope. Didn't afford myself that luxury. Left for a night in June to look at the area, wound up buying a house the next day. Two months later, packed and gone from New York, not looking back. Everyone asks me if I miss it. I tell them "no" (most times). Fact is there are things that I, in fact, DO miss. I always will. There are people I know I will never see again because I left. There is no chance to call them and say "Hey, let's meet at (fill in spot) for a cup of coffee and catch up on what we've missed over the past 10 or 20 years!" By the time I get back, they are going to be gone. I wouldn't mind one more dance...

So much for a day off...

Today I was scheduled to take a personal day. It's payday. My plan was to play poker. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Bills came in higher than expected, getting 2 cars fixed, and gas prices jumped 30 cents in the last 2 weeks. So, that's cool. I'm going to play tomorrow night at the lodge, so I will take today to relax, nap and play X-Box. That's not what happened... My sales team on the ice cream account are getting more and more stupid as we go along. I swear they are now grasping at straws, like their jobs are in jeopardy. They promised something that was IMPOSSIBLE to deliver on. This means that today, instead of napping, playing video games and relaxing, I spent 9 hours working! The only break I took was to take the laundry to dry. I did interview for another role within my company (same office), but haven't heard anything. Not expecting to, other than that the position was offered to someone else. I don't really care at this point. We have a new team lead, and I think we are in trouble for the next 12 months. I have the same manager, but he seems to have a "cold attitude" toward me lately. Oh well, such is life. I am doing my job, I work my 8+ hours per day. I don't care if he likes me or not. What, so I won't get a promotion?? I don't have college! ANY promotion is a stretch. Dealing a poker tournament on the 25th for a charity. Wish I knew which one, but I know it's legit. I trust the guy that is going to run the tournament and I get $50 for it. Excited for this. Hell, first thing I've been excited for in awhile.

Not dead yet...

Last night I was sitting watching TV and a really stupid thought crossed my mind... What if... ?? I hate when those things pop into my head. I always run multiple scenarios about just about everything. Then I start to question myself about various decisions I made in the past. What would have been, what could have been, what should have been. The should part is always the worst. I ALWAYS think of what "should" have been, but then that would deny fate right? Ah well, such is life. All I can do is hope for another chance somewhere to make things right.

Casual dress at work...

Most companies have "casual Friday" which is great. People can wear jeans, feel more comfortable. Well, the company I work for decided we can have casual EVERY day. Jeans are acceptable (as long as they are clean). Proper footwear is required (sneakers and flip flops/sandals are worn regularly by both men and women). Shirts should still have a collar on them for the men (no say if they should look like they didn't get run over by rocks). There are people today dressed in tank tops!! I understand it's HOT outside (105 degrees today), but folks ... we work INDOORS!! There is a wonderful invention called air conditioning! The worst part is, they get away with it. And then think they are kings and queens. Here's a tip. If you are going to dress like you have errands to run, DO THE FUCKING ERRANDS! THEN change into proper attire and come to work!