Happy Friday the 13th...

Wow, one of my favorite days of the year. It doesn't come around again until January 2011, and that's Anthony's birthday. I normally have alot of luck on this day, and always wear all black. Didn't today. White shirt and blue jeans. When the temperature outside is hitting 102 and up, light colored clothing is the way to go.

Right now I'm sitting at work in a very quiet office. There isn't much going on, and majority of the people are gone for the day. I am sitting listening to a CD (won't say which one, don't want you to choke) and thinking. Remembering...

At one point in my life, I can say I had friends. Those that were there for me, in good times and bad. They would pick me up when I was down, or slap some sense into me when I was being stupid. I like to think I was there for them too, the best way that I could. I do not have that in my life anymore. I miss that. I rememember people from my past, the ones that could make me smile and laugh. They would cry with me when I was sad. I remember one young woman I knew...actually I dated her...who was there with me when my mom had her first stroke. I was SO pissed. I reamed 2 doctors right there in the hospital hallway, and I mean reamed (they are still walking funny), and then walked away. Nobody could find me, and at the time that's what I thought I wanted. Well, she found me, and ignored my "go away". She came over, sat next to me, and put her arms around me. Together we just sat there. I was able to cry and get out my frustration, sadness, anger. Everything that was built up. I miss having people in my life like that. Those that will not care if I am in a talkative mood or not. Those that truly know me is that just be fucking NORMAL around me. I come around easy enough.

Just too many demons in my head for me to start anything...