End of 2012

We have finally reached the end of 2012. They say that everyone has an opportunity to "reset" themselves and start fresh in 2013. I don't see that as much of an option. No matter how much I change or how much "nicer" I try to be, I still don't like most people, I do not call anyone a friend. So, 2013 will be pretty much the same as 2012.

Way too much...

There is just WAY too fucking much craziness in the world. Last Friday, Dec 14th, at an elementary school in Newtown CT, 26 people were needlessly killed by a gunman. Six of those killed worked as teachers or the principal. The other 20 were kindergarten students. Since then, there have been at least 2 arrests made by others who thought of or planned to do the same thing where they live. It's just fucking sick! My heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones that day. It is a tragedy that should never have happened.

12-12-12 and beyond...

They say today is a "magical" day. If I heard the news reports correctly, about 7,500 couples will be married today. Why? If you are basing your marriage off of a date instead of the real reasons you should get married, you're fucked up! The next one is the end of the Mayan calendar, which is on 12-21-2012. People say the world will end on that date. My world has ended EVERY YEAR on 12-21. This is the day my daughter was born, 16 years ago! And on 12-23 of every year I relive the pain I felt when she died. I couldn't get there fast enough to save her. So you know what? Let the fucking world end on 12-21-2012. It's not like I have much left in me to live for anyway.

Another hump day...

All dressed up and nowhere...wait, that's not right! Life is like a box of...oh hell, that's not it either! Why oh why was I blessed with such talent and good looks?!? THAT'S IT!! I am at work and luckily for me it is fairly quiet. I lost a category so now it's just me and the ice cream. Being out of season, I do not currently have much on my plate. I have, however, been working on the training manual. Hopefully will have this completed by the early part of 2013 and rolled out to everyone on the team. Then we can use it for new hires. I also have many OPL's (One Point Lessons) which are very handy tools to have. Eventually have to go through those as well to update where necessary. Next week begins the last month of the year. I am actually (kinda) excited about it. I have 3 full weeks of work, then 1 full week off, then 1 day of work, then 1 day off, then 3 days of work. The difference this time is that, unlike Thanksgiving, I will NOT be working on my time off. It's MY time! If anything gets screwed up, let someone else fix it. My ass will be on the couch playing X-Box with my son, playing poker (if I can find a way to afford it) and watching many movies on Netflix. Now THAT'S what I call a vacation. One definite plan is to watch "The Stand", a 6-hour movie based off of Stephen King's novel of the same name. Hell, I may do that this weekend! Other than that, I am just way fed up about almost everything. It's normal for me this time of year. Did you know Danielle Nicole would have turned 16 this year? I knew. I never forget. Sucks to be me huh?

Happy Thanksgiving!!

After the week from hell at work, it feels great to sit back today and relax. Got to play XBox, watch football (first game which I thought was "eh" turned out to be great, while the Redskins/Cowboys game not living up to the hype I thought it would). Had a great dinner with my wife and son! Debating on going to Walmart tonight for a gift that is going to be at a great price. The sale starts at 10pm, which kinda bothers me because I do feel for the workers. But that's the price you pay working retail. Hell, I work for a vendor and am supposed to have tomorrow off, but I'll have work to do. Sometimes you gotta do what's best for the company, because if you don't you could end up with no job at all to bitch about. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Let the shopping begin...

Well, I've decided to give up poker for the most part for the rest of the holiday season. Need to be sure we save enough money so we can buy Christmas gifts that everyone wants. Actually kinda proud of myself. Normally I would always find a way to convince myself that either I would win or not spend that much and we would still have enough. Then I'd starve myself without lunch each day until someone got paid next. Today I started Christmas shopping. There are some things I know will not be on sale any cheaper on Black Friday or even Christmas Eve, so I'm starting now, so I know I'm ahead of the game AND can still eat lunch . The company I work for sponsors the Single Parent Scholarship Fund, and we are given a list of items that the parent or their child(ren) want for Christmas. Today I started and bought my first one this year. I had a helluva time finding it, then Ann and I went to Target and she found it. Woohoo! Short week at work, as we are closed Thursday and Friday. Still have to work, but from home. Ah well. Happy Thanksgiving!

Another week down...

Finally feeling better after being sick for a week and a half. Sinuses still draining but it's very tolerable. Unfortunately had to back out of 2 poker tournaments because of my illness. The second one was a fundraiser. Had off this past Thursday and decided to go to play poker at Cherokee Casino. Not my best day. Will not be playing much the rest of the year. Save money for Christmas. Then I'm off the week after so I may go play one then. Don't even really miss it much, believe it or not. Quiet weekend here. Played some XBox, watched football (college and pro). Ravioli and garlic bread for dinner tonight which was GREAT! Tomorrow starts a new week at work. New hire being trained, should be a better week. Want to sit with a CFR at work and start learning. Prepare for a new position if/when one opens up. TTFN!

Frigged up Friday

Sorry for not posting in awhile. Been kinda busy the past couple of weeks. Last Thursday went to play poker at the Elks Club, which I haven't done in awhile. Didn't stay that long, caught a set of 8's and someone took me out with a set of J's on the river. Played Saturday morning at Cherokee and took 3rd. Was supposed to play at a home game tomorrow but not going. Thank you bronchitis. Actually working from home today due to the constant sneezing and coughing. Went to the doctor yesterday and got prescriptions. Can't wait for them to actually start working! Other than that there is absolutely nothing going on.

Thursday trend...

Once again, it's a Thursday. There is no intent for me to update mostly on Thursday's, it's just the way things happen sometimes. Right now it is fairly quiet in my world so I figured I'd update everyone on what's not been going on my life. Finally got to play poker this past weekend after a long hiatus (it felt like forever!). Didn't cash but had a blast. A guy I work with plays and we got to play together both days. Makes it more fun for both of us. Anthony went to homecoming last weekend and had a blast. Danced all night with just one young lady. Unusual for him, considering he normally is involved in a dance circle. He seems to really like this girl. I know her name but that's about it. Not pushing him. Teasing him always seems to push him in the wrong direction. Besides, he's almost 19 now, and that's about the age I started learning what and what not to say and do. If he needs advice, he knows he can ask me. Thinking about work, it amazes me how some people have the heaviest feet! Holy shit, it sounds like an earthquake, and it's all because of people who don't even weigh 100 lbs soaking wet! Incredible! That wasn't my original thought about work, but someone went stomping by just as I started typing, and I didn't feel like backspacing. Other than that, work is crazy. Stupid lying manipulative people get the promotions because they already interviewed 7 times in the past 2 months for just about ANY position that's open, so they "know how to interview", yet others that have the drive, the knowledge and the proper desire to see the company succeed don't get promoted without having to jump through BS hoops answering questions that have no bearing on the position being applied for. One of my co-workers had a meeting at Walmart's home office recently, and the reminder I wanted to give was "please remember they are NOT a bakery, so hide your rolls!"

Haven't forgotten any of you...

It's been a crazy couple of weeks at work. We went through an update to our ordering system, which did not go as well as hoped. My coworkers and I worked long hours to keep the business going without missing beats. Plus, I am now the proud owner of ALL of perishables. The person who handled part of it was promoted (makes sense .. she is lousy at her job, so instead of getting rid of her, let's promote her!). There is a new hire that will be starting in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime it's all MINE! And I plan on cleaning it all up before the new hire gets here, so this way when this person starts, they just have to maintain it properly. Next week I am going to start sitting with one of our CFR's so I can be trained. I know some of it, but policies knowledge is where I am very weak. There are so many options and it's hard to keep them straight. Plus, there are reports that I did once about 1 1/2 years ago and don't remember how to anymore. All this to show management that when I suggested giving me a senior role with a CSA and CFR desk that I am ready for it. I am preparing (prepared) and ready! I have not played poker in 4 weeks. So many unexpected expenses came up the past few weeks. Hopefully I will get to go tonight. Other than that, absolutely nothing going on.

Yet another...

Last Friday night, Ann and I went to see Jeff Dunham in concert at Downstream Casino. After the recent weeks we had, we SO needed it, and it was SO VERY worth it. Greatest show I've been to EVER! Towards the end, I was laughing so hard I almost threw up. The past weekend was OK. Not much going on. This week has been crazy at work, and I mean CRAZY! But, I think I handled it well. Was able to take care of a promotion with a fill rate of 99.993% (yes, I'm carrying the decimals out that far). PLUS we are training a new hire. I was able to finally sit with him this afternoon, and hopefully will get some more time with him tomorrow. All this is trying to prove to the company I work for that I am more than qualified for a promotion. All I have to do now is prepare for the interview that will hopefully eventually present itself!

Another post...

It's been a few days, and for that I am sorry. It's been a strange few days since my last post. Saturday morning, my wife was checking Facebook, and saw a post from someone she used to work with and is still friends with saying "Mom died". She felt bad, and said she would call this person later to offer her condolences. About a minute or so later, she let out a blood curdling scream. Turns out it was her friend's daughter posting ABOUT the friend. She died last Friday night in a car accident. Needless to say, the weekend and the week so far has been "strange". Tomorrow is the funeral service. Ann and I both are going. Work is work.

Wednesday hump

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. Sorry about that. Been a weird couple of weeks. But, I have a plan in place to make my life better (I hope). Seems I'm not the only one who has been thinking about this (not necessarily ME in particular, but the idea is out there). Nothing much else going on. I had a blood test this morning, going back Friday for the results. Cholesterol was 240 a couple of months ago. Hopefully it has gone down. Been playing poker regularly at the Elks Lodge. Great game, fun people. Still considering joining the lodge. Not real positive yet, but we'll see. Jerry "The King" Lawler, a long time wrestler/announcer, had a major heart attack Monday night during a live airing of WWE Monday Night Raw. Last word is there is no apparent brain damage, which is great! However, he has a long road to recovery I'm sure. My thoughts and prayers are with him during this time. He is one of my favorites, and I would love to see him be able to make it back.

Title???

First off, congrats to my old boss and her husband on the birth of their new baby. Played poker at Cherokee last night, which I have not done in awhile, especially at night. Was fun, but was out at the 2nd break. My pocket JJ lost to pocket 10-10 when he hit a set on the flop and never looked back. It was OK. Had a good time. Hurricane Isaac is heading this way. Should possibly bring up to 6" of rain to the area which we desperately need. We are 10" below normal for the year. Tonight I am hoping to play poker at the Elks Lodge. No plans for the Labor Day weekend. Hoping to barbecue, and looking forward to the start of College Football.

Need to relax...

I am finding that the older I get the more paranoid I become. I was paranoid when I was young, but now it seems worse. Every time someone says "Hey, let's talk" or "hey I need a big favor", I always seem to think the worst. I guess it's just easier that way. Expect the worst, so if it doesn't happen that way I feel better. Better than going the other way, huh? I don't know. Well, found out I did not get the role I applied for at work. Manager told me my interview was "so-so" at best, but he understood. It's been quite a few years since I've interviewed for anything. I still think I'm most qualified for the position, but I understand the reasoning for not getting it. Looking at the person who DID get the job, their position is now open and people say I should go for it. I can't say I haven't thought about it, but the training is so God awful for that role that I feel like I'm being set up to fail. And the person that would do the training still doesn't even understand all of the job (and couldn't keep up with it, hence emails at 11:30 pm -- PS: doesn't make you look good, makes you look incapable!) would have to train me and that would end up a train wreck. Sold Anthony's car. Got the money back that I invested in it, plus a few dollars. Told him to focus on school, will keep looking for a job, and when something comes up, we'll go from there. Saturday tournament in Fayetteville. Dealing! Can't wait!

I wouldn't mind one more dance...

Sitting here on a Friday, it's close to lunch time (just a touch too early). There isn't much going on today, so I sit listening to Pandora. You know how songs start memories you did not need at that time. Well, that's been going on for over 3 1/2 hours at this point today. I am still mad that I didn't get to go to New York last month. I figured it out, it doesn't look like I'm going anytime soon. All I wanted was a chance at one last dance. A chance to say the things to people and places that I haven't had the chance to say to them because I moved away quickly and quietly without letting anyone important to me know that I was leaving. I didn't get that one more chance to stop by all my favorite spots one last time to say thank you for all of the times I was able to go and get lost in my thoughts, while all of the time feeling protected and safe (those from my neighborhood will understand that). Nope. Didn't afford myself that luxury. Left for a night in June to look at the area, wound up buying a house the next day. Two months later, packed and gone from New York, not looking back. Everyone asks me if I miss it. I tell them "no" (most times). Fact is there are things that I, in fact, DO miss. I always will. There are people I know I will never see again because I left. There is no chance to call them and say "Hey, let's meet at (fill in spot) for a cup of coffee and catch up on what we've missed over the past 10 or 20 years!" By the time I get back, they are going to be gone. I wouldn't mind one more dance...

So much for a day off...

Today I was scheduled to take a personal day. It's payday. My plan was to play poker. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Bills came in higher than expected, getting 2 cars fixed, and gas prices jumped 30 cents in the last 2 weeks. So, that's cool. I'm going to play tomorrow night at the lodge, so I will take today to relax, nap and play X-Box. That's not what happened... My sales team on the ice cream account are getting more and more stupid as we go along. I swear they are now grasping at straws, like their jobs are in jeopardy. They promised something that was IMPOSSIBLE to deliver on. This means that today, instead of napping, playing video games and relaxing, I spent 9 hours working! The only break I took was to take the laundry to dry. I did interview for another role within my company (same office), but haven't heard anything. Not expecting to, other than that the position was offered to someone else. I don't really care at this point. We have a new team lead, and I think we are in trouble for the next 12 months. I have the same manager, but he seems to have a "cold attitude" toward me lately. Oh well, such is life. I am doing my job, I work my 8+ hours per day. I don't care if he likes me or not. What, so I won't get a promotion?? I don't have college! ANY promotion is a stretch. Dealing a poker tournament on the 25th for a charity. Wish I knew which one, but I know it's legit. I trust the guy that is going to run the tournament and I get $50 for it. Excited for this. Hell, first thing I've been excited for in awhile.

Not dead yet...

Last night I was sitting watching TV and a really stupid thought crossed my mind... What if... ?? I hate when those things pop into my head. I always run multiple scenarios about just about everything. Then I start to question myself about various decisions I made in the past. What would have been, what could have been, what should have been. The should part is always the worst. I ALWAYS think of what "should" have been, but then that would deny fate right? Ah well, such is life. All I can do is hope for another chance somewhere to make things right.

Casual dress at work...

Most companies have "casual Friday" which is great. People can wear jeans, feel more comfortable. Well, the company I work for decided we can have casual EVERY day. Jeans are acceptable (as long as they are clean). Proper footwear is required (sneakers and flip flops/sandals are worn regularly by both men and women). Shirts should still have a collar on them for the men (no say if they should look like they didn't get run over by rocks). There are people today dressed in tank tops!! I understand it's HOT outside (105 degrees today), but folks ... we work INDOORS!! There is a wonderful invention called air conditioning! The worst part is, they get away with it. And then think they are kings and queens. Here's a tip. If you are going to dress like you have errands to run, DO THE FUCKING ERRANDS! THEN change into proper attire and come to work!

Makes someone smile...

Apparently some get "nervous" when they don't see a post from me in awhile, so while I have a few minutes at work, I figured what the hell. Nothing going on. Olympics are on in my house. I tried to watch as much as possible over the opening weekend, especially because the coverage at night kinda sucks. It's taped! I like to watch things when they happen whenever possible. Otherwise, I hear the results on ESPN, or read about them on a news website. Not as exciting to watch then. For example, read about the men's team gymnastics. Oh well, RAW is on tonight. Therefore I won't miss much. Swimming happened, I'll probably hear the results before seeing it too. Such is life.

Aurora CO

Today is Friday, July 20th, 2012. The Dark Knight Rises, the latest installment of Batman, is such a popular movie that theaters everywhere started showing the movie at midnight. It grossed $30.6 million just in the overnight showings. One theater in Aurora CO, however, may have to give a few refunds for ticketholders. James Holmes, 24, in pre-meditated fashion, shot 71 people. Currently 12 are dead and 59 injured. 11 of those injured are in critical condition. Nobody knows why he did what he did. He alerted police that his apartment (4 miles away from the theater) was boobytrapped. Law enforcement is still trying to determine the best way to handle this situation. Jessica Ghawi is one of the 12 deceased in this massacre. A beautiful young woman with aspirations of being a sports reporter. Last month, she survived a shooting in a Toronto mall. She left the food court 3 minutes before the incident occured. She was there visiting her boyfriend, Jay, who is currently a minor league hockey player. My prayers go out to all of the victims of this terrible tragedy.

No vacation...

As stated, no trip to New York. Then decided to maybe going to Kansas City overnight. That trip is out. No point. Can't even fucking enjoy any of my life without a divorce and can't get that because God forbid ANYTHING gets talked about in my house. I am married to an emotionless bitch. Well, at least she is emotionless with me. 21 years together, never once told me she loves me. Never comes up and just gives me a hug. The only thank you I got for cancelling my trip to New York when I bought her the car was a "thank you" from about 38 feet away. You know what? Fuck it. I don't care anymore. I am living in a house that feels like I'm living with a friend without benefits. I am too fucking ugly to get anyone else. So I'm fucking screwed. THAT'S how everything is going in my life!

RAIN!!

Finally getting some well needed relief after about a full month of nothing. Rained a little today but we are not out of the woods yet. However, more rain is coming per the weather forecasters. Other than that, absolutely nothing exciting going on. Will keep you "posted".

Happy 4th of July

This has to be the quietest July 4th I have ever spent in ANY neighborhood. Because of the drought (we haven't had rain in about one month) and everything being SO dry, they banned fireworks almost everywhere. Nobody in ANY neighborhood is allowed to shoot fireworks unless you are an organization (church) that has permission from the county. Actually, the church we live behind should be starting their show in about 10 minutes. We get to watch from our own backyard (which I mowed today so it doesn't burn). Hopefully the temperature will be under 94 degrees when we get out there. As stated, my trip to New York is over. I am hoping to go to Kansas City for a couple of days instead.

Thursday...

Well, it's almost Friday! Today I get a half day off for "summer hours". It is a great program that my company offers. As long as you make up the hours during the remainder of the week, you are entitled to a half day off. There are currently 4 of us alternating days each week, so we get every other Friday (if we want it). This week I'm taking a Thursday. It will be the first time I'm taking the time without having to run errands all afternoon. This is good considering it will be 103 degrees outside today. The less I am outside the better. Thinking of taking Anthony to the movies, but not sure how awake I'll stay. New York is off. Did the finances in my head and there will not be enough for me to go and be able to enjoy myself. Therefore I have "postponed" my venture. I am still trying to figure out what to do when. Promise to keep you updated!

Where to start...

Well ... work is as good as it's going to get. It was a decent week at work. I had Friday (yesterday) afternoon off. Had to take Anthony for his driving test (I mentioned he failed the first time, I think). Well, this time he passed. Yay! So we went to where his mom works, got his social security card, and headed the the driver's license office. After an hour wait, found out we needed his birth certificate. Oh hell! So we went home, sat around for a bit, then went back. While there, decided to go to Whole Hog for dinner. So I texted Ann and told her to meet us there after work. We got out at 6, so did she. We got to Whole Hog to find out they had no chicken. Bye! Went to Steak 'N Shake. Yum. This morning had to be up at 5am as I was a volunteer for the Cancer Challenge event we have yearly in the county. I wound up getting home around 9am, and Ann and I talked about getting her a better car. So we went to the dealership and bought a 2008 Hyundai Accent. She so loves this car! Anthony, in turn, gets the Malibu. All this puts my trip to New York in jeopardy. All going to depend on the money situation when all the insurance and taxes are paid. In other news, Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on 45 of 48 counts of child sex abuse. I will post here the same thing I posted on Facebook last night... Rot in hell you fucking sonofabitch!

No Way Out...

This describes so many things going on in my life right now... (1) The WWE Pay-Per-View I am currently watching (2) My job at my current employer (3 -- Most important!) My trip to New York (1) This is a PPV that I decided to order last minute. Wasn't really sure on it, but I enjoy it, and so does the famiglia, so I figured why not. Not going to watch NBA finals (not a basketball fan!), not watching PGA Championship (Tiger blew it WAY too early today), and have seen every How I Met Your Mother episode. (2) Sometimes the company and the things it puts forward SUCKS! Frustration is setting in something fierce. One of these days, I will get my ass to school so I can start my degree and get the hell out of that place. Decisions that are made (letting people leave, hiring idiots in management positions that have NO idea how to be management, let alone understand ANY of the business they are managing), NOT hiring those that are qualified because of the biggest bullshit excuses they could possibly come up with. (3) 35 1/2 days left until my flight. This is something I am looking forward to more than anyone can imagine. There are things that I want to do, there are things that ... well ... I don't necessarily want to do, but have to do. Thankfully this has to do with places not people. There are those that I would like to see, but I doubt it's going to happen. Too much time has gone by. Well, time for the championship match. TTFN!

Belmont day...

And after all the hype, with I'll Have Another out of the race, all I got was a Belmont Stakes 2012 t-shirt. This horse was amazing in the first 2 races of the triple crown. Yesterday, he was scratched and retired due to a front leg injury. Will still watch the race, but didn't bet on it. Got our dryer delivery this morning. Can't get it to work though. The vent that the hose hooks up to is in such bad shape that they couldn't hook it up. What makes them think I could?? So I have a new dryer, but can't use it until I get someone to fix the vent system. Decided to go to Cherokee, and finished 2nd in the morning poker tournament. That's twice in a row I've cashed there. Tonight we are going to the Naturals game. Hopefully my head stops hurting. Otherwise it's going to be an early night.

Trying to keep up...

It's Hump Day! I'm sitting at work this morning with a few minutes to breathe and figure out what my day will be like. What better way than to type it out, right? This afternoon I am getting new toilets installed. Are you enthralled yet? Is this a really exciting read?? Yes, that says toiletS, as in more than one. You have to understand me a little before I go further. I am somewhat environmentally conscious. I care about what I throw out and gets recycled, I prefer to conserve water where possible. It may not seem like a lot to most (myself included) but I feel if I do even some of my part it will help a great deal going forward. Well, we have been down a toilet in my house for awhile. Been needing a new one. Finally found a way to fund the project. Well, they have new "Dual Flush" toilets. Basically, if you #1, you don't need to flush with as much water as if you do #2. The toilet has separate buttons for this now. I got excited and bought one. They also sell attachments for existing toilets to make them "Dual Flush". It's EASY TO INSTALL. That is, unless you're stupid like me. I broke my working toilet. Not so bad that I can't use it, but flushing it is not so easy. So, I went and bought a second one. Thankfully there are only 2 toilets in my house, otherwise this could cost a fortune! Worst part is, the plumber to install them cost more than the toilets. Ah well, such is life. Helping to keep the economy strong! So, I get to work from home this afternoon, so I can be there when they arrive. There are 47 days remaining until my trip to New York. While I am looking forward to my trip, I stop to wonder if I am giving myself enough time to do/see everything without feeling rushed. Then I wonder if I gave myself too much time to do/see everything. I do know that the Monday night I will be in my hotel room watching WWE Monday Night Raw. It's their 1,000th episode, and I do not want to miss any of it. I could record it at home, but I would rather watch it live. Been playing poker a little more lately. Play at the Elks Lodge almost regularly on Thursday nights. It's a $25 game, so it's not expensive. The game is a lot better than you would think for a non-casino event with a low cost. Everyone deals their own, no big deal. Did play at Cherokee last Saturday and chopped 4 ways. That paid for most of my toilets. Always the way right? At least this time the money was not used on medical procedures. Crap, hopefully didn't jinx myself. Two Naturals games on tap for this month. This Saturday for an Eric Hosmer bobblehead, then on the 23rd for Skippy night. The San Diego Chicken will be there. Not sure if I am going to that one yet or not. Will definitely send my wife and son. I have to see. Hard for me to tolerate most of my co-workers outside this place (hard AT the office too!). May just get tickets on my own so I can sit away from them. Other than that, everything is fairly normal. Will try to post more regularly so everyone knows what's going on. TTFN!

New York!!

God help us all. I am heading home! Yes, you read that correctly. From July 23rd through July 27th, I will be home on Long Island for the second time in 9 years. Once before since moving to Arkansas was I there, but it was for a graduation (I think) so never really had a chance to go anywhere and do all of what I've missed. The flight is booked, hotel and rental car in place. I am looking forward to this trip, but I have some trepidations (does that make sense? who cares!). I know I will be doing some fishing, eating at more than one diner, maybe hit a couple of bars in the Port Jefferson area if they are open. Montauk sounds like a day trip too! Definitely hitting a beach or two at sundown. Hoping to catch up to an old friend or two, but that doesn't seem likely. Ah well, such is life. Can guarantee will not be looking for any family while I'm there. There is one uncle (I think he's still around) that I could contact, but I'd rather not. It's been way too long. Sitting at work this morning, not in the best of moods. My boss offered me the chance to work from home today, but I'm going to pass on that. It's summer time, which means we get "summer hours" each week. These are available provided you make up the hours the rest of the week. However, if there is a day off for a holiday (or vacation) in that week, you are not entitled. Well, Monday was Memorial Day, and I did not work more than a couple of hours (may have only been one!), so will not take advantage of that. If it gets that bad, I will go for a walk around the building. That usually helps some. You know what? I'm alone! You know what else? I'm used to it, and kinda liking it today!

Memorial Day...

Thank you to all of the servicemen and servicewomen past and present who have served and protected the United States of America. Today the family and I are going to a ballgame. The weather report states it could rain this afternoon. GOOD! Let it rain on my fucking head. It's been weeks since we've had any measureable rainfall and we need it SO badly! The only saving grace is that the lawn in my backyard doesn't grow much, so easy to mow even after forgetting it was there. Tonight, if it doesn't rain, have to do it one more time though, to make it neat and even. New York in 2 months! Yeah baby! Can't wait. Renting a vehicle and driving up. Going to hit some spots that I've missed (the beach, the park, the old neighborhood). If you are from the area and would like to get together for coffee or dinner at a diner (God I miss those too!) hit me up. If you matter, you already have my phone number.

Not sure...

The past few weeks have been very rough on me, mentally and physically. I am tired, I am drained. I am at a point that I just don't care anymore, about much of anything. I go through the motions but that's about the extent of it. I can't catch a break. Wow, lot of I's in this huh? OK, enough of my pity party. Went to Big Cedar last week with my company. Had to perform "skits" for our brands. Well, long story short, I came out in a robe, and left in a black sleeveless dress and giant balloon boobs. It was fun for awhile, until someone yelled out that I had a "dicky". In a dress, not supposed to have one of those. Fun immediately went to shame, and I refuse to look at most of my co-workers now.

Didn't forget...

Yes, it's been awhile. Work has been beyond nuts. We are down 2 workers, which means we are pulling extra duty. We are having system issues, which ties up a good 2 hours (or more) of my day to work on other things I'm supposed to be doing. I'm STILL trying to figure out what got screwed up by the worker that recently left because he is SO good at bullshitting people to make them think he is such a wonderful worker, and the customer is not very pleased. I had a project taken off my desk, partially because I'm covering extra businesses but also because I was not giving enough attention to the project. Believe me, my intentions on it were good. Unfortunately, trying to assist with the day to day caused me to run out of time. Hell, I worked 13 hours ONE DAY last week to make sure my regular job was caught up. Then, showed BACK up to the office 11 hours later and worked 10 hours. On top of that, the hard drive on my laptop crashed. This meant I had to use a loaner laptop, and had nowhere near the amount of files I needed to do my job. Speaking of my laptop, what a joke that was. I called it in 10 days ago (yes, on a Saturday). I.T. ran a check on my computer and found my hard drive was crashing. He told me someone would be out Monday to take a look at it. Now, I admit I do not know nearly enough about computers that I should. Hell, it was supposed to be my field of expertise when I was younger, but it wasn't (another story for another day). So, on Monday I waited. After about 4 hours, I called the help desk back and was told a hard drive takes 3 days, so I should have it on Thursday. OK! Thursday rolls around, and nothing. So I called the help desk. They tell me the hard drive was shipped and is in Arkansas, so I should get a call shortly. I waited 2 hours, then called the help desk AGAIN! They put me on hold for 10 minutes, then told me a tech would get right back to me. I got a call a few minutes later on my cell phone. Not my WORK phone. It was a tech. I called it back 8 minutes later and got voice mail. I left my WORK number and waited. Two hours later, called again. No answer. Called two hours after that (now 3:15pm), left another voice mail and was not too pleasant (didn't use any bad words). Friday morning, called AGAIN! Called a second time at 11:15. The person who left me the message picked up and was all smiles, saying she was sorry we were playing phone tag! Well, guess what bitch?!? If you would have picked up your fucking phone any of the 5 times I called, it would have saved time. She had the information that I needed a new hard drive since that Monday (mind you, it's now Friday!) but had a bad phone number. Instead of calling the main office number, she decided to wait. Fucking genius. She got the drive done and sent it to me so I received it yesterday (Monday) morning. Now I need a tech. He had NO idea it was to be installed. So at 2pm (being I was leaving on a business trip, getting back about 90 minutes ago), I installed it myself. There are programs not installed, emails missing, and I can't even set up the laptop properly. Note, I am going away next Monday for 4 days, and without my laptop, going to be VERY difficult to work. Needless to say I am fucking pissed!

No longer rockin'

R I P Dick Clark. Dead at 82 of a massive heart attack.

You will be missed and never be forgotten!

Laps for life...

This weekend, the company I work for was a sponsor for the American Heart Association walk at Arvest Ballpark. I had signed up for myself and family to walk, but alternate plans forced us to cancel our participation.

Saturday night, however, I volunteered to work the Laps for Life Teen Cancer Challenge walk at the Bentonville High School. The event raised over $7,000 for cancer research, and that was with NO advertising of the event, other than at the school and on the school website, which most people do not look at.

I walked 3 laps. First for a boy named Jimmy, who died when we were kids. He had cancer that spread way too quickly. He died too young! Second for my dad, who died 1 year after I graduated high school. He made it to my graduation, but lasted way too long. He fought the good fight. The third lap was for all of my family members (yeah, you read that right!) who have died from cancer. There are more than I can mention.

The final lap (which everyone participated in, volunteers as well as walkers) was a lighted lap for all of the victims as well as survivors. I am honored to have been a part of the event, and hope to be able to participate again next year.

Been a few weeks, huh...

Ah well. Such is life. People having babies, good for them. I have either a sprained wrist or carpal tunnel (sp?). It's my left hand. Would make much more sense if I was left-handed, but I'm not.

Other than that, life sucks overall. Just glad to be here and continue to remain miserable.

Happy St Patrick's Day

Then again, what do I care? I'm not Irish. I'm not of Irish descent. Just because I'm as short as a leprauchan (sp? again, who cares!)does not make me Irish.

Still sick. Mowed my front lawn today, throwing up twice in the process.

Saw a former co-worker today. He is enjoying where he is now, which is great to hear. He asked me how the office was, and I told him the truth. It sucks!

Currently on a muscle relaxer so I can move my neck and shoulder. Can't believe it's actually working!

Being sick sucks...

About 4 weeks ago I had a sinus infection. Was put on pills for 10 days. Last weekend, after volunteering for the ADA (American Diabetes Association) annual Kiss-A-Pig Gala, I must have drained my body because I got another infection PLUS bronchitis. Back on medication.

Have to travel to OK Thursday and Friday for work. Was supposed to be on vacation those days! Had to move that to the end of the month. Hopefully this one I can actually take!

Concerns...

Please note, I know who currently has access to this blog and who reads it regularly (or at least checks it), who checks it occassionally, and who may glance at it once in a while. Also, please note that I don't care! I've said it before, I'll say it again. It's MY blog! It's MY running diary. If I don't use your name, it doesn't matter what I say, because you have no fucking clue if it's about you or not.

I have no friends, I have co-workers and acquaintances. And there are many of each. So if you think what I'm typing follows your "story" guess what?? There are others, and you are not unique to my life.

If I remember right (most times I don't ... people know this and take WAY too much advantage of it!) I posted about blogging, then just dropping off without warning. Basically stopping publishing and not giving a fuck what anyone thought. Then, I went and did the same thing. I have my reasons for not blogging in a couple of months...

For starters, I am SO fed up at work. I stuck myself between a rock and a hard place by not going to college. I continue to be stuck as I feel I'm too old and not motivated enough to even START college. Therefore, I am stuck at my current job because frankly, even with 5 years of experience in my current role, plus my previous 20 years of experience in customer service, nobody will look at me without college. Add to that, my boss is not adept at knowing what I or my co-workers do. I don't see him learning much either! The mentality is "you learn it, you do it, FAST!" or you are basically worthless. I was thrown into a new position at the start of my busy season, wanting me to take it over basically in 2 weeks, while my partner is planning on being out for 8 weeks on maternity. They want me to try to train 2 others on what I do, learn the new job, and keep up with three categories. I STILL also have to learn how to be a CFR for one of the categories that they decided to stick me with as well. Yet, I have been told I have to "prove myself" because one of my wonderful fucked up co-workers decided to complain about me. So, 4 years of employment PLUS 1 year as a temp means fuck all. It's bullshit, but like I said earlier. I'm stuck! Stuck and fucked!

Currently I am battling a bad sinus infection. Fever, coughing, sneezing and everything. Doc says it's not the flu. Stupid fucking Arkansas weather. Snowed on Monday, 60 degrees 2 days later!

Wife lost her job. Why? She's too fucking stupid to learn. She told me one of the things they told her when releasing her was "she was spoken to about delaying getting to her next room", yet when I ask her "well, were you warned?" She replies "NO!" Fucking stupid! Remind me again why I stick the fuck around? Jail would be a better life than what I'm leading!

Enjoy. And WARNING! WARNING! I may not blog again for awhile. Don't worry. I promise to at least post a blog the moment I'm dead!

1926 - 2012

R I P Joe Paterno

Tired...

And somewhat fed up! I am so fucking tired of people thinking they know what goes through my mind. They think they should stay away instead of confronting me, which is what they should do. They look at me like I am crazy when I don't do something, when they have no fucking idea WHY I am not doing it. Instead of asking, they figure they already know and just shrug it off as an attitude issue on my part.

You know what? I'm done smiling, I'm done laughing. I'm just fucking done!

Didn't end well...

Been on vacation all week and was able to take lots of naps. Felt good, especially considering I haven't been sleeping good at night. Got a nap in yesterday too. Then, when I woke up decided to check my work email to make sure nothing was blowing up. Got a sharp pain in my left ribs. Knew it was gas, but damn if it didn't want to go away. The wife was cooking at the time and saw me double over as I screamed in pain. Now, MOST people who give any kind of shit about you would stop what they were doing and come over to you to see if there is anything they could do. Not my wife! She continued to do what she was doing and asked me if I was OK. I'm fucking screaming in pain, do I SOUND OK?!? I married a fucking idiot!

Luckily for me, I finally was able to move enough after 2 hours in pain to take 2 Gas-X pills, and 2 hours after THAT the pain went away. Sorry to say I was not dying!